THE STRUGGLE OF OBEDIENCE

I’m pretty sure we all have been told to do something totally opposite of what we wanted to do but in our ignorance or, shall I say in our arrogance, we decided to do what we feel is best. Yea we may have considered the other opinion but deeply rooted in the depths of our core we felt as though no one knows us better than we know ourselves so we must only depend on our own inclinations. 

Time and time again I’ve seen this scenario play out and it never ends in the way I viewed it in my mind. With that revelation, I can’t help but to think, why don’t I think of this fact when it comes to listening to the guidance of My Heavenly Father? It is said that if you want to make God laugh then make your own plans. I’m sure He’s got His fair share of reality comedy from years prior, because He knows nothing is new under the sun, and there are many prime examples in His word on the outcome of disobedience.

Prime example is the story of Jonah. Now he knew the exact mission God sent Him on and yet he wanted to be selfish and follow his own will. He not only put himself at risk but he risked the livelihood of others as well, and still ended up in a fishy situation. Pun intended. It wasn’t until being in the thick of the consequences of doing what he wanted to do where he decided to surrender to the will of God and carry out the mission given to him.

 Sound familiar? I know we all can relate to crying out to the Almighty after not listening or patiently waiting to hear His guidance, and like He did for Jonah, He comes to the rescue every time. But then this makes me sit and ponder, what would be the outcome if I’m obedient from the beginning? What if, no matter how much I disagree or can’t wrap my mind around the mission given to me, I just go with it and allow Him to do what He does best? He displayed His faithfulness throughout the Bible on so many occasions with Abraham, Noah, David, Daniel, and countless others so why have I been so stubborn and determined to do things on my own? Same God right now is the same God from back then right?!

It is having these questions alone that I have decided to be obedient for the first time without letting the thoughts of my own will and emotions take over and disregard the mission given to me. Almighty has told me to get off social media for a year. And when it happened it hit me like a ton of bricks. I grew up in the era when social media first emerged so it’s what I know. Of course I’ve deactivated a time or two. I would be off of one account or another, however, I didn’t want to wrap my head around the thought of not being on any of them at all for a full year. My stomach dropped.

I started to feel as though God was telling me he was about to remove me from everyone’s life. The negative thoughts were beginning to flow and the Lord sensed it, so I heard Him say, “Trust me on this daughter”. Oh that was all I had to hear. I started thinking of all the times I didn’t listen. I thought about the merry-go-rounds I’ve been through just to land in the exact same spot in life. I’ve been maneuvering about in my own will and I instantly convinced myself that this is just something I have to do. I have been working on changing my life and living for Christ therefore I have to start being obedient. 

Me being me, I had to ask for a day to mourn and be sad about the fact that I won’t be posting any selfies or taking the easy route of keeping in touch with friends and family. What is crazy is that the whole day I kept receiving video recommendations that were speaking about trusting God and His timing and surrendering to His will. I knew it was all confirmation from Him letting me know this decision is for my good.

I have removed all of my personal social media apps from my phone. My grief has turned into excitement for what is to come. I haven’t really thought about social media much since the deletion. It only hits me when I take a beautiful selfie that is share worthy which makes me think about how no one will see it. The silver lining tho? I’m learning to use my iphone camera instead of snapchat filter, I’ll have a backlog of pictures when the time comes to return, and I have more time to focus on my blog and YouTube channel; which is all the cherry on top of all the blessings the Lord will be ushering during the new year. 

Look forward to more content and if you like poetry subscribe to my new YouTube channel and follow my new Instagram. Links will be listed below.  

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